More Than Softball: My Dad’s Legacy, My Parents’ Love, and the Coaches Who Shaped Us

What people have a hard time believing is that I never played softball for my dad. He was never my head coach. When Dad started coaching, I was already playing on a rec league team. I didn’t even start playing softball until fifth grade, and I didn’t want to leave my team. So, Dad coached my younger sister, Tab, who played for the “Stars,” while I played for the “Lassies.”

It all seems so long ago, but at the same time, it feels like yesterday.

Dad simply fell in love with coaching and the kids. Before long, he was deeply involved in the Shenandoah rec league. I can remember being out at the fields with five-gallon buckets, picking up rocks. Wow, were there a lot of rocks!

The old stadium in Shenandoah was where softball was played back then, and those fields were in rough shape. We spent evenings and weekends trying to make them better. Dad took the knowledge and skills he had gained working as a landscape manager at JMU and put them to work on those fields. There was plenty of rock removal, dirt moving, and sod laying during my years in rec league.

Some of my very best childhood memories were made there. Field 2 now has a sign bearing my dad’s name. I don’t think I will ever go to that field without picking up a rock, throwing it off the field, and thinking about my childhood with Dad. It may seem like such a small thing, but to me, it is one of the most special ways to remember him.

When I played rec ball, I was a pitcher, but back then, we played slow pitch, and yes, the softballs were white! Dad knew I wanted to pitch in high school, so he started studying and watching videos about fast-pitch softball. Then he would have me watch them with him, and we would go out and practice. And practice. And practice some more.

Somewhere along the way, Dad discovered a true passion for coaching pitchers, and he was damn good at it.

Even after my sister and I went on to high school, Dad continued coaching rec ball in Shenandoah. He just loved that league and those kids. Coaching was never something he did simply to fill his time. It was something he poured his heart into.

After I graduated, I started helping Dad coach. He had some of the very best players, and one special group always comes to mind. Brian Hendricks, affectionately known as “Big Daddy,” was part of that group and eventually became a coach alongside Dad.

Then Dad changed Shenandoah rec softball forever when he signed the charter that brought the league into the Cal Ripken/Babe Ruth League organization. That meant our softball teams would begin playing fast pitch. I can tell you without a doubt that this helped lay the groundwork for the success Page County High School softball would go on to experience.

Dad wasn’t just coaching a team. He was helping build a foundation for generations of players who would come after him.

The Pitching Coach Who Asked for Nothing in Return

Dad began giving pitching lessons for free in Shenandoah at an old building that had a batting cage inside. It was nothing fancy. It was beat-up, run-down, and absolutely freezing in the winter.

Every Sunday, Dad would spend the entire day down there. He kept a full schedule, and most of the time, he wouldn’t even leave to eat lunch. He missed some of our own family functions, or we learned to schedule around his Sundays because we knew how important those girls were to him.

He coached so many outstanding pitchers in that little building, including pitchers who went on to win state championships. He helped build them from the ground up.

Dad could be tough. Really tough. He expected those girls to work hard, listen, and give everything they had. But underneath that toughness was a man who loved them and wanted to see them succeed. His players trusted him, respected him, and loved him because they knew how much he believed in them.

You don’t see many coaches these days who will spend every Sunday giving individual pitching lessons for free, asking for nothing in return. But that was Dad. He took pride in his girls, and he loved watching them grow. Their success was his success.

He gave them his time, his knowledge, and his heart. And he never needed to be paid for any of it.

That was just who he was.

When Dad Became Bailee’s Pitching Coach

When my own daughter, Bailee, started playing softball, she decided at just six years old that she wanted to be a pitcher. Dad, however, wasn’t ready to give her lessons yet. He told her she was too young.

When she was around seven, he finally started working with her a little at a time.

Whew! The fights that took place in that building were epic!

Dad loved that girl with a passion, but he also had incredibly high expectations for her. He wanted her to work hard, and at seven years old, that was something she hadn’t quite figured out yet. She and Dad could go head-to-head like nobody’s business.

But he never gave up on her. Every Sunday, they kept working. She kept learning, improving, and getting better.

I think Dad knew deep down that she was going to be something special. And I can say without a doubt that he was 100% right.

Bailee went on to take the Panthers to two state tournaments. One of those trips ended with a spot in the state championship game, where they lost 1–0. She went on to hold multiple pitching records and was named District and Regional Player of the Year in back-to-back years as a junior and senior.

I would say Dad is beaming with pride.

I wish more than anything that he could have been here to watch it all unfold. I wish he could have seen the player she became, the records she broke, and the accomplishments she earned. I wish he could have stood there and watched her compete, knowing all the hours they spent in that cold, run-down building had helped bring her to that moment.

But even though he wasn’t physically there, I have never doubted that his influence was with her every step of the way. So much of what she accomplished started with him.

I also know Dad would be incredibly proud of my son, Mitchel. Mitch accomplished so much during his baseball career and went on to play college baseball. He and Dad shared a special relationship, enjoying the simple things in life, like hanging out, talking, and going fishing together.

Both of my kids were so young when Dad died, just 10 and 12 years old. They were too young to have him for as long as I wish they could have, but they were old enough to know how much he loved them. And both of my parents played an enormous role in their lives. They helped shape Bailee and Mitch into the young adults they are today.

That is another part of Dad’s legacy that means more to me than I could ever explain.

The Woman Who Shared Her Husband With an Entire Community

My parents were married for almost 41 years when Dad passed away. Their marriage was perfectly imperfect, and I think that is what made it so real.

They taught me and my siblings that marriage takes work. It takes patience, commitment, and choosing each other even when life isn’t easy. Marriage isn’t for quitters, and my parents showed us what it meant to stick together through the good, the bad, and everything in between.

My mom also shared her husband with an entire community.

I’m not going to sit here and pretend she never got a little jealous when so much of Dad’s attention went toward softball and hunting. Haha! But over time, she grew to love those things, too, because she loved him.

You might not have seen Mom sitting in the stands at every game, but she was always interested. She would ask about the games, his players, and how everyone was doing. And when Dad finally made it home, she would have his dinner waiting.

While Dad was out pouring himself into the lives of other people’s children, Mom was holding things together at home and supporting the man she loved.

That was their partnership. It wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs. And I will forever be grateful that I got to witness it.

The Hardest Loss Our Family Ever Faced

In 2014, our family suffered a devastating loss when my oldest sister, Tina, passed away at just 38 years old.

She was the second child my parents had lost. My younger brother had died at just two months old when he was a baby.

There is no way to adequately describe the pain of losing a child, and watching my parents grieve Tina was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever witnessed. The pain they carried was unimaginable. As their daughter, I wanted so badly to take some of that hurt away, but there was nothing I could do to make it better.

During those darkest days, the softball and Shenandoah communities rallied around our family. The people Dad had spent so many years helping and supporting showed up for us when we needed them most.

And Big Daddy was right there beside Dad through every part of it.

Brian Hendricks was there for the long days at the hospital. He was there when Tina passed away. And he was there at my parents’ home, helping Mom and Dad find moments of laughter during one of the hardest seasons of their lives.

The friendship and bond those two men shared will always be one of my favorite memories. It went far beyond softball. They were friends in the truest sense of the word, the kind of friends who show up when life gets ugly, who sit with you in your grief, and who somehow find a way to make you laugh when you think you will never laugh again.

That kind of friendship is rare, and I will always be thankful Dad had Brian by his side.

Building Something Special With Bailee’s Team

After everything our family had been through, Dad threw himself into coaching Bailee’s travel softball team. He and Big Daddy coached together, and the two of them built something truly special.

Dad could see the talent in Bailee’s age group. He wanted those girls to grow together, develop their skills, and become better players as they made their way toward playing for the Panthers.

He wasn’t just thinking about the next game or the next tournament. He was thinking about their futures. He wanted to help prepare them for what was ahead, just as he had done for so many girls before them.

Unfortunately, Dad didn’t get to see just how special that group of girls would become. He didn’t get to watch all of them grow into the players he knew they could be.

I wish he could have seen it. I wish he could have watched them take the field, knowing he had played a part in their journeys. I wish he could have stood alongside Big Daddy and watched those girls accomplish the things they worked so hard for.

But I know the foundation he helped build never disappeared. The lessons, the work ethic, and the love he poured into those girls went with them long after he was gone.

That is what coaches like my dad do. They leave pieces of themselves in the people they teach.

Coach Knight: The Coach Who Prepared Me for More Than Softball

When I was in eighth grade, I started playing softball for Coach Knight.

Man, oh man, did he intimidate me!

The softballs were still white back then, we had no dugouts, and there was no outfield fence. But we were still pretty dang good!

I played catcher, and here is a fun little connection: my pitcher, Julie Comer, held many of the school’s pitching records that Bailee eventually went on to break. Julie and I are still very close today. There is just something special about the relationship between a pitcher and a catcher. You develop a bond built on trust, communication, and knowing how the other person thinks. Some of those connections last a lifetime.

The Coach Knight I played for was not the same coach everyone sees today. He taught me so many lessons, both on and off the field. At the time, I probably didn’t realize just how much those lessons would matter later in life.

Looking back, I can see that he was preparing me for more than softball. He was preparing me for life. He taught me how to handle pressure, how to listen, how to work hard, and how to deal with tough bosses as an adult. I didn’t understand it all back then, but I do now.

When Bailee started playing for Coach Knight, I was so excited. I knew she would have the opportunity to play for a great coach, a tough coach, and someone she could learn so much from. I knew he would challenge her, and I knew she would grow from that experience.

Bailee went on to play college softball, but if you ask her, none of those college coaches ever quite lived up to Coach Knight.

I think that says a lot.

Page County has been incredibly blessed to have the men it has had coaching its young athletes. Coaches who demand more, who push players beyond what they think they can do, and who leave an impression that lasts long after the final out.

Coach Knight is a legend, and I will forever be grateful for the memories I made as a player on that field and later as the parent of a player on that same field.

A Legacy That Will Never End

When I look back on all of these memories, I realize that softball was never just softball for our family.

It was early mornings and long evenings. It was picking up rocks on a field, laying sod, and turning something broken into something better. It was cold Sundays in an old batting cage, endless pitching lessons, arguments between a grandfather and his determined little granddaughter, and friendships that lasted through the best and worst moments of life.

It was a wife supporting her husband as he gave so much of himself to others. It was a family learning to live with unimaginable loss. It was a community that showed up when we needed it most. And it was coaches who taught us lessons we would carry long after we hung up our cleats.

Dad may never have been my head coach, but he shaped my life in more ways than I can count. He shaped my daughter’s future, helped develop generations of players, and left a mark on a community that will never be erased.

Mom was part of that legacy, too. She stood beside him for almost 41 years, loving him through all the perfectly imperfect moments and sharing him with countless players and families who needed him.

And Coach Knight helped shape the player I became, the person I grew into, and the way I came to understand what a great coach truly is.

I am so proud to be the daughter of the man whose name now stands on Field 2. I am proud to be the granddaughter’s mother who watched her learn from him, work with him, fight with him, and ultimately become the pitcher he always believed she could be. I am proud that my children got to experience the love of both of my parents, even if their time with them was far too short.

There are days when I wish I could walk out onto that field and have just one more conversation with Dad. I wish I could tell him everything Bailee has accomplished, talk baseball with him about Mitch, and hear him laugh about something that happened at practice. I wish I could watch him teach one more pitching lesson and see that familiar look on his face when a girl finally gets something right after working at it for weeks.

But when I visit Field 2, I can still pick up a rock and throw it off the field.

And in that small moment, I am a little girl again, standing beside my dad, helping him make something better.

That is his legacy.

Not just the records, the championships, the players, or the sign bearing his name.

It is the lives he changed, the love he gave, the family he helped shape, and the people who will carry his lessons forward long after he is gone.

And for that, I will always be proud to call him my dad.

It was right at 2am when I pulled into the parking lot of the Flying Tigers complex in Lakeland, Florida. I was trying hard to finish my loop of the 20 ball parks in Florida before I headed back to Virginia, and when I put my rental car in park, I noticed someone approaching me in a golf cart.

My first thought was to explain that I just wanted to look around and take some pictures and then get on my way. But before I could get started, Rafael Anglada beat me to the punch. See, when you want to protect the shield, that is the sport of baseball, you know immediately when you cross paths with a fellow Gste Keeper.

In the blink of an eye, I went from thinking about getting harassed by an underpaid third shift security guard to realizing the fountain of baseball knowledge was available, and he was in the mood to chat !

We quickly landed on the subject of Greg Maddux, and it turned out that his Son played on the same little league field where Dave Maddux taught his youngin how to pitch.

Maddux was in the Air Force when Greg was born in 1966. He was stationed at a base outside of Madrid. Spain, and that is where Greg first learned to play baseball.

The Sun had risen by the time we finished up our chat, and I learned more about the Tigers and the Flying Tigers than I would have thought possible. While a great deal of the relationships in this book are from decades ago, this one is fresh and continues to grow !

The MLB Tigers, the Class A Flying Tigers, and a rookie league club all spend part of their year at the half stadium / half college campus, and Rafael interacts with them all.

Meeting up with Rafael only happened because the hotel I had just stopped at prior to the park was booked solid. Your Biblical take on this one is that there wS No Room at the Inn, and it led me to one of the more interesting characters that I’ve ever met at 2am.